Monthly Subscriptions Fan T-Shirts

Time-of-the-month club.

Soup of the month.

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

Wine of the Day Club

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Maybe I should subscribe to the newspaper again.

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Houdini 2019

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

“The jury has requested you pitch your case in the style of a six-part TV mini-series.”

Club of the Month

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, they send me stuff they know I'll like and they bill me for it."

I don't know why you don't just cancel your subscription to the Rock-of-the-Month club.

"Those cat nap boxes just appear on their porch every week—it's like magic!"

"He can be pretty mean when he takes his wife out to dinner"

'I worked hard, made my millions. There's nothin left to do except give it away - but I'm too cheap!'

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

'You're spoiling that squirrel, subscribing to the Nut - of - the - Month Club!'