Monster Mind Explorer Pillows

"I'm here today to talk to you about the dark side of outsourcing."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

X-ray Psychology.

Collective Psyche

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Lost and Profound.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Confirmation Bias

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."