Monster Mind Explorer Pillows

"I'm here today to talk to you about the dark side of outsourcing."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

X-ray Psychology.

Unguided imagery

Collective Psyche

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Lost and Profound.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

Confirmation Bias

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.