Monochrome Maven T-Shirts

'Turn all this black and white into gray...'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Made in China

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Future Candidates For "Colorization"

Ilyasah Shabazz

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"I finally got my wife to read my manuscript. She said the main character was a sleazebag devoid of a moral compass. It's an autobiography."

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Still Here

J.D.Salinger epitaph.

Election UK Leaders' Big Debate.

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

Reading the Leaves.

Sugestshun Box: Spelling test.

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

"Secondhard carbs"

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

Man and his translator stick out their tongues.

"I'm charging you with trying to strike a happy medium."

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"