Monkeying Around Expert T-Shirts

"So, how long have you two been in Ghana studying the apes?"

If you rotate the corporate ladder by 90 degrees, you end up with monkey bars.

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Influence this."

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

Scientist with test tube.

Gracie invents a smart spray from her science kit.

'Come, Darling! Let us give in to our most primal urges!'

'Oh, wow, you found my science project and it works!'

Thank you for not asking how my experiment is coming along.

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Recombinant DNA Lab. It's a Rhinocerose!

"If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it's Jeannie."

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

"The hardest part was teaching him to use the hedge trimmers."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.

'It was just here! Ugh...I bet it threw our dinner again.'

Dr. Cohencho: Eyes, Ears, Nose & Throat

Let the profit-making begin!

'You say Merezenski did the exact same experiment, but did Merezenski add chocolate syrup at this point?'

"You new guys should fit in working here."

"It turns out that if you give 100 monkeys 100 typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Play it cool. It's the law of the jungle.

"Your favourite and my favourite...whose name escapes me at the moment..."

Gee! Now I know why he's the king of the jungle