Money-minded Minister Gifts

'It's not quite as bad as it looks - they're only witholding payment until we publish our expenses.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

Financial Eyesight

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Money, money, money, that's the only three things you ever think about.'

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

Pollution and money

"Beneath this calm exterior, I'm obsessed with making profits."

"I'm savings. Investing is across the hall."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

'Oh, we would never throw money at anything...we love money too much.'

'OK, here's the play, based on your prorated salaries...'

"And remember, son, perception isn't reality - money is."

Uncle Sam

'I like green tea. It's the color of money.'

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back."

Money Hog

"Hoping to win the lottery is not a retirement strategy!"

"Forget the children, consider staying together for the sake of your finances!"

"The big money is in development? Now you tell me?"

'Look - decide. Are you going to launch an attack on tradition, or make a few bob?'

'Does my take-home pay have to go all the way home?'

"Retirement plan? Nobody here makes enough to afford to retire."

'That's the first Dollar I ever made -- I'm thinking of converting it to Euros.'