Money-minded Minister Gifts

'It's not quite as bad as it looks - they're only witholding payment until we publish our expenses.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

Financial Eyesight

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Money, money, money, that's the only three things you ever think about.'

"I don't wear jewelry, but cash is nice."

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

Pollution and money

"Beneath this calm exterior, I'm obsessed with making profits."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

"I'm savings. Investing is across the hall."

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'And briefly, what is it that attracts you to a job in banking?'

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

'OK, here's the play, based on your prorated salaries...'

'Oh, we would never throw money at anything...we love money too much.'

"And remember, son, perception isn't reality - money is."

"Hoping to win the lottery is not a retirement strategy!"

"Forget the children, consider staying together for the sake of your finances!"

Uncle Sam

'I like green tea. It's the color of money.'

Money Hog

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back."

"The big money is in development? Now you tell me?"

"Retirement plan? Nobody here makes enough to afford to retire."

"So much for counting on a lottery ticket to capitalize the retirement fund."

'That's the first Dollar I ever made -- I'm thinking of converting it to Euros.'

'Does my take-home pay have to go all the way home?'