Money Gambler T-Shirts

"How long have you been wasting our money on lottery tickets?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Doctor's poker.

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

Washing Up Liquidity.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the football office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"I'm combing our finances for all the disposable income I keep reading we have."

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

'He's a high stakes player - I mean he married her.'

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

The Tooth Accountant

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

Recession tips & taxes

"My salary is struggling to keep pace with the empty bottomless pit of my greed."

"If we have any sweet,darling, we can't afford any condoms!"

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

Bought Low, Sold Lower.