Gambling Gambler T-Shirts

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Dogs and their thoughts

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Little league world series of poker.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Bribes for Jabs

'I don't like to take chances.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Dog in casino.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Stag poker"

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'