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I don't like mondays

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The Cat's Alarm Clock

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

Le Bolshie Chef.

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

'Mum! Mum!... My egg's gone all runny!'

'Well I see we both got our ugly sleep.'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

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"The sooner they take you off vice patrols the better."

"It was Monday morning, he kept hitting the snooze button, and before he knew it, it had been twenty years."

The mirror knew when to keep quiet. Bob hated face-to-face confrontations first thing in the morning.

"Where's the snooze button on this thing?" "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"

'I hate Mondays!'

"Of course I was forgetting you've got a jigsaw to finish and a light bulb to change in the toilet!!"

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

"Whoever invented the obituary page is a real jerk."

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

"Teaching's a joy until the first bell. Then the whole day's ruined."

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

'We've figured out your problem. You're allergic to grapes.'

'Can you believe I got a 'C' in English? And I was doing to good!'