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Dear Diary

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Trappist Monk Discord

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Quills - Sizes 1-9

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

History of Cartooning.

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

'My God - there's two of 'em!'

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

"Not only do I curse you but your descendants also. Know that they will be so heavily taxed they'll be forced to open this castle as a tourist attraction!"

Two friars ringing bells

Knights jousting on pinatas

"For simplicity, we call this one Ding and that one Dong."

"Go ahead and touch my light. It's made of boyfriend material."

Virgin Mary: World's Best Mom.

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

Rin Tin Zen.

Fortune telling

Gipsy Rose: Sorry Closed, Back in 6 Months, Won the Lottery Again.

'I see tragedy in your future...and let me say that I am an agent for a major TV network which wants an exclusive on the event...'

The Pope

'Come on Kevin, that's enough wishful thinking for one day.'

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

"You have two unread messages."

The world welcomes Pope Francis I

"The Convent of the Immaculate Heart Brewery"