Monarch Maverick Mugs

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Grandma's caf

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'First of all, relax.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

The Royal Wii

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

King completes rubik's cube.

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

Ski kicker.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"Well, I guess this rock sample pretty much clears up any lingering doubts about life on Mars!"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

How To Cut The Defense Budget