Mom With A Twist T-Shirts

'Just doing the school run.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Quartet of chefs.

Cook in the cookery section.

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'Mom's doctor recommended she take up knitting as a way to relax.'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

'It's her signature dish.'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"The first thing about living alone again is not to overdo the chintz."

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

Meals on Heels.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'It's stew with a difference tonight - I've fried it.'

Maze Leading to a Cheese Shop