Mollusc Madness Pillows

"Who, her? She left here weeks ago. . . before you and I even met. She's been on her way home ever since."

Shell Fire

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

Snail Pattern Balding.

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

March madness

"There were times I wished I was an oyster, but I'm happy as a clam."

It's the start of March Madness basketball and this game is tied with seconds to go! I wonder who the hero will be? The nucleus is playing center, but he's been stopped by the defense of the bad cholesterol, who's clogging up the middle! The flu vaccine is the leading scorer. He never passes up a shot! Now the double-x chromosomes are asking the coach to put him in. Of course, the biological clock is running out!

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

Small Clams Court

Notice - Salt Kills

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Ski lodge health care team.

Gardener and the Giant Snail

"Gerald is retired, but during March Madness, he goes back to the office to play the college hoops sports pools."

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

"The doctor says you have an acute case of march Madness. Here's your bill."

'Are you responsible for this?'

See, what did I tell you? Next year, bring me your office pool bracket earlier.

NBA Vampire

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

'Dude, the river is flooding! Get out of here as quickly as you can!'

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

Snail Homes