Moisturizer Lover Pillows

'I've finally found a moisturizer that really works!'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Is it something I said dear?"

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Hairstyles

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"We want you to design the drainage system so that we have a muddy backyard..."

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

"The chef recommends butter."

A grave with an array of beauty products

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

"I don't know why I'm surprised, but you seem very down to earth."

"If you like what I had to say, be sure to go online and buy some of my merch."

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

The entire family

'You smell as if you're nearly ready.'

"You're wearing a lab coat under false pretenses."