Modification Pillows

'Man, I'm exhausted!'

Campaign for Plain English

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Ironing Punctuation

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

Editor.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do it write the first time.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Man ironing the censorship into a book.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.