Modesty Lovers T-Shirts

"Finally a bit of privacy."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Yoga.

"Showoff"

"It is my place!"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."

I told you that kid was spoiled.

Storage Unit of Love

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

Muzak's Top 10

'My other baby is Mercedes'

"I was hoping to make billions, but I've settled for making millions."

Black Friday

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"Thanks, baby. Ciao."

Meditation: Do Not Disturb.

Meditation Center

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

I know it's unfashionable to say this...but money actually makes me very happy.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'It's only going to cost your $1,600 to put the romance back into our marriage.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"