Modern Transaction Thinker Pillows

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'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'I ink, therefore I am....'

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"This looks good, Jim, but we'd better run it by legal, Siri, and Alexa."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

"Our 'Invest in American' program is saving money by buying orange safety cones from China."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Bought GE stock at its high.

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

"Already my computer is outmoded, but i try to tell myself that my computer isn't ME."

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"Yesterday we're caterpillars, today this. Can't wait to see what's next."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"What next?"

'Dad, why didn't the three bears' have a home security system?'

Justice is being biased by social media