Modern Stories T-Shirts

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Silence of the Chickens...

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Audio Books

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Two Generations of Readers

Moby Dick

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

Large print e-book.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

7 More Dwarfs

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."