Modern Spiritualists Pillows

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"Does God have his own Web site so I could e-mail my prayers to him?"

reincarnated worm...

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Wikipedia...

"Do you have an appointment?"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

God's Phone

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"Herb's from Texas."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"All the celebrities come here."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

Witches of Instagram

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

Cat Seance

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"Your husband says BOO!"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."