Modern Santa Appreciator T-Shirts

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

High security Santa's grotto

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

Santa CGI Effect

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'And that,and that,and that...'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

The Reindeer Strike

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

'It's true, nobody ever elected me C.E.O. However, I always just assumed I was.'

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

"Maybe this year..."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

Great Moment in North Pole History

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"The cookies are always stale."