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"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."

"Don't forget to come back."

'... And this is David, my future ex-husband.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Heart to heart talk.

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

His and Hers Wedding

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"Arthur, I need my space."

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"OK, now what?"

Waterfall of Disappointment

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."