Modern Problems Aficionado T-Shirts

"But officer. I wasn't texting. I was `sexting`."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Kiwi Ingenuity

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

'I hear what you're saying, Bert. But in my experience, most complex business problems require more than cookie-cutter solutions!'

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

"Why run the maze when you don't have to?"

Umbrella Roof

Business Confusion

A good leader has effective conflict resolution strategies in place.

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

The News in Capsule Form.

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"You need to learn to solve your own problems."

Garden of Earthly Delights

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."