Modern Motherhood T-Shirts

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"He's such a fussy eater."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Mother Nature

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Men explained.

Downloading Pregnancy

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

I love my family!

"He just said his first word!"

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

'They sure have small litters.'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'