Modern Motherhood Pillows

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"He's such a fussy eater."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Mother Nature

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

Downloading Pregnancy

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"He just said his first word!"

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Men explained.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

I love my family!

"On no, the baby's breach!!"