Modern Love Troubles Pillows

"Just curious, Edward. Have you ever butt dialed another woman?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

No Immediate Danger

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"You may now kiss the bride."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

Bingo Saves Christmas - Part Three

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"What's come between us?"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, sister? People were right: Now that gay people in all 50 states can marry, it's destroyed marriage altogether. My husband Larry just left me and moved in with Earl the plumber. First of all, ma'am, I'm pretty sure you have no idea how these things work. The supreme court gave Larry the gay. How do I undo the gay?

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Friday night was always sext night.

Modern Charm

"Every time I think we've sorted our marriage problems out, he comes home again!"

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'