Modern Love Troubles Pillows

"Just curious, Edward. Have you ever butt dialed another woman?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

No Immediate Danger

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"What's come between us?"

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Modern Charm

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

"Every time I think we've sorted our marriage problems out, he comes home again!"

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

"Now take my life-partner...please...take my life-partner!!"