Modern Love Advisor Mugs

Poked on Facebook

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Tasty.

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"I know you're angry when you cross your arms."

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I've been talking to … um … Tina for three whole weeks … Do you think it's too early to try and get her to move out her near me? Excellent question. The answer is, we're all barreling full-steam toward death and incontinence. So seize the moment!!! that's both depressing and uplifting at the same time.

"We usually get along, but when we don't, we fight like, um...well, you know."

'He is so lazy,I even had to get a man in to cut our wedding cake.'

"Just remember, the number one reason for divorce is marriage."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

'I need a commitment. I don't want to just hang out with you.'

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

'Is your girlfriend still playing hard-to-get?', 'No -- now she's playing keep-away.'

"Couples therapy is not 'going out.' Henry!"

"I do too communicate. I just asked you where the do-dad is to fix the what-cha-ma-call-it!"

Courtship display

"Will you still love me when I outearn you?"

"Well, if you'd married a dentist like I wanted, maybe HE could explain Bluetooth to me!"

"I was being myself like you advised. That's when she dumped me!"

'Roy proposed to me in an email, but my spam filter rejected it.'