Modern Listener Gifts

Audio Books.

Audio Books

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

Large print e-book.

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

Cybergoth.

Shell Pods

Clive Anderson

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

Book

'I still love those classic solos from the 70s - but who has the time?'

Books and Phones

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

Friday night was always sext night.

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

Science Applied to Art

Book computer

Modern Charm

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

"Curling up with a good book is one thing, but now you're taking a shelfie?"

Things can only get worse...

'He's in the library.'

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

Have the author sign your kindle...