Modern Language Pillows

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Campaign for Plain English

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Punctuation Police

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Backfire

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

Lesser known greek gods,

'The Questioner'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Wifi in Hell

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Audio Books

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Sauce for the Goose