Modern Industry Watcher Gifts

'Back in the industrial age, this was, I believe, a steel mill.'

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

Supermarket Merge

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

Made redundant from Honda please help

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

NDAs for non VIPs

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'The music business.'

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

The Unbearableness of Being Inanimate

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

Distancing with the Stars

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in Korea, customer support will be run from Mumbai and logistics handled in Vietnam."

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"

"look at those poor suckers. A market correction doesn't mean anything to us."

"These masks are getting skimpier every day."

'Acme Meat - meat products, bi-products, and bi-product spinoffs...'

'I'm not calling you in India for technical support. I'm calling to offer you a job.'

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

"I'd like to know why we're selling elements to the companies, and then turn around and buy compounds from them."

Bailout for General Motors.

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."