Modern Idioms Pillows

"Little bastard played you like a video game."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Sauce for the Goose

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"Nuts to you, too."

Soldier armed with a pen.

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

The devil you know and his plus one

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"He wasn't even early - he was on his way home from a party!"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

Hadley finds proof that bears actually don't s**t in the woods.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

"Good news. You know that elephant in the room we never talk about? He's now in the other room."

"Remember saying you'll give us a raise when 'pigs fly?' Well, it's time to pay up."

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

"My ship had finally come in. . . then it sank!"

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Museum of Natural Cliches

'See there is enough room to swing a cat in here!'