Modern Home Lover Pillows

"The building is fully renovated with VR in every unit...let's put these on to view the kitchen."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

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'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

"That's still too high"

'I've organised the bathroom.'

"I tidied away all the cushions and stuffed toy animals. It appears we never had a bed."

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

'The old one fell apart.'

Feng Sushi

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

Non Drip Paint

"Be honest...did you actually get any paint on the living room walls?"

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

"Feng Shwoops!"

Extreme Makeover: Old Woman Who Lives in a Basketball Shoe Edition.

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

A shared passion

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

Harris Realty We Make House Calls

Giant wants his shoe back.

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"I wanted stalagmites, but Erk here is a stalactite nut."

'I just love the way you've done the stone cladding.'

"Sure my first quote was less. That was before I found the body in the wall."

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."