Modern Family Thinkers Pillows

"We don't believe in pressuring the children. When the time is right, they'll choose the appropriate gender."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

'Dad, are we rich?'

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

'It's not gifts I want, but someone who listens.'

"Son, as long as my lawyers can still find enough legal loopholes to get me out somehow, I don't do anything immoral."

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"My Dad told me not to make the same mistakes he did. That doesn't leave much left!"

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

It's a beautiful thing, watching your children grow into mature, responsible adults...

"Listen, Mom, I'm not your little girl anymore."

'How am I supposed to follow in your footsteps when you don't have any?'

'Mom, Kevin just asked me to live with him!'

"Remember, money can't buy happiness...if your Mother ever asks."

'No, the woman of the house is at work. May I help you?'

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'

Biological parent's night.

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

"I get the new phone, Timmy gets my phone, Annie gets his phone, Bobby gets her phone and you get his phone, dad, and you get to pay for it all."

The widow's intended: 'Well, Tommy, has your mother told you of my good fortune.' Tommy: 'No. She only said she was going to marry you!'

'Go ask your other mother.'

'Well son - When you're young the secret is to keep your mom happy. Then when you're older, keep your wife happy.'