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"I guess families do come in all shapes and sizes."

"I now pronounce you...significant others!"

"It's still decided what it wants to be."

"Come on son, it's not difficult; I'm your mother Victoria. Formerly your father Victor, and that's your Father Jack, formerly your mother Jackie."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"How is it gendered?"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

Phone Mittens

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

Thomas was brought up by his extended family

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"Dad, when I leave high school, I want to get a job and help support the family."