Modern Fairytale Lover Pillows

'Bread crumbs? Didn't Hansel and Gretel have GPS on their phones?'

"I suppose every girl dreams of someday getting a big divorce settlement."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

The tooth fairy.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Ask A Silly Question.

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Sleeping Beauty.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"My God! There goes middle management."

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Snow White and her Seven people.

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

Tooth fairy pays with card

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"