Modern Convenience Admirer T-Shirts

"Oh, an indoor toilet!"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Roasted

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"Gracie, people don't understand how hard things used to be. Sure, we can be green and throw out the washing machines...but then we'd have to load up the dirty clothes, drive the car to the river, and wash everything with rocks!"

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

Uptight Fishing...'we put the bait on for you'

Kangaroo Pocket

"Very minimalist"

Condom Delivery

'I'm tired of using every part of the stupid buffalo -- I wish they'd put a Wal-Mart in around here!'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

Sitting around the warm glow of the TV.

Early Power Saws

Woman looks at frozen ready meal and says to man: 'You may have bought them from the corner shop, but that doesn't mean they're 'locally-sourced'.'

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

'I told you I didn't want indoor plumbing, but no! You just had to keep up with the Jones. Call the plumber. The pipes are frozen again.'

Remote control heart monitor.

"So the microwave's got a popcorn button, but the popcorn bag says don't use the popcorn button, and I'm like, Microwave people! Popcorn people! Get your act together!!"

"No, I don't have to sneeze - I'm making a phone call."

'How long do we have to wait for a cup holder?'

'Remember when you needed a can opener to open a can of whoop ass?'

"I can't wait for the invention of the food truck."

"That's right—a gallon of sparkling and a gallon of still. Are you ready for the credit card?"

"When did you buy that Hoover?"

Pond Village Store Generalists