Modern Communication Lover Gifts

"Sign here, initial here and emoji here."

Ok, I think they'll get the idea. #sos #help #thirsty #hot #hungry #scr

"Ping me when you're done, yeah?"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Campaign for Plain English

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"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Ruddy bloggers!

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'A thousand word report? How many words is that in text message?'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The Love Psychologists

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'