Modern Carol Lover T-Shirts

'We don't do caroling anymore, sir. We'll give you an URL where you can download the greatest Christmas songs!'

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

7 More Dwarfs

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes..."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

Bling Crosby.

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Friday night was always sext night.

'Well, if they don't go chuff chuff anymore. . . how do they go?'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

Choirboy

Modern Charm

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

Four calling birds...three French hens...two turtle doves... This is my favourite part.

'You call that carol singing?'

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

Christmas choir

Updated Fables. The Ant And The Grasshopper … And The Mosquito. IRS.

A band rendition of Silent Night.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.

Congregation

"Lady lush has another busy day."

Ding dong merrily on us!

Christmas songs

Policeman says to the Little Drummer Boy: 'Your neighbours have been complaining about the constant pa-rum-pa-pum-pum.'

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

Scrooge and his piggy bank

It's been a long time, Rudy. Sixteen months, two weeks, four days, sixteen hours, seven minutes. You're kidding me. There's an iPhone app. It tracks the crucial experiences in my life. I'm kidding you. Did you just make a joke at the expense of yourself and your device? I'm impressed. Sorry device. I'll make it up to you, darling.

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

"We wish you a Merry Moo-Moo..."

Driving home for Christmas

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness even with a high co-pay?"