Mock Trial Talent Mugs

A good future in politics

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Bailiff."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Repeat after me..."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'New Barbeque.'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

"We pay the living dead wage."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Murder trials at the criminal court shown as a theatrical show

"Guilty times infinity."

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'

A Dummy Corporation.

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'Your first trial?'

The Prozac Story: 'It's a feel-good movie.'

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

"It doesn't matter if anyone heard you fall, I am sure we can get you a large cash settlement."

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

"Calm down! This wood doll is the best attorney ourcompany ever had."

"That was just a simulation. Nothing can prepare you for the kind of monkey bars you'll find in an actual war zone."

"Worlds are colliding. This is plant-based Spam."

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."