Mock Drill Participants Mugs

"That was just a simulation. Nothing can prepare you for the kind of monkey bars you'll find in an actual war zone."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"We pay the living dead wage."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

William Tell's Father with Golf Club

A good future in politics

"It doesn't matter if anyone heard you fall, I am sure we can get you a large cash settlement."

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."

"Worlds are colliding. This is plant-based Spam."

'We're here to nudge you into moving south.'

"I believe I can speak for both of us."

"Technically, yes, it's women and children first, but this is just a drill."

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

Fire at the British Museum

'It's a list of things I don't like to do.'

"Last question...where do you see yourself in 30 minutes? Because I'm calling you a cab."

"Right! Let's break for lunch!. . . . Well don't just stand on ceremony!"

First we sue the guy who saved your life. We'll file a no-class-action suit.

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

Advanced Fireman Test

Volunteers training with rifles