Mock Interview Maven T-Shirts

'I went to Harvard until they found out I was there.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Ice skater

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

Time Out For Teddy

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'

We Made a Fortune! 'That's good enough for me. I don't really need the specifics...'

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

Human Brain

Career Elevator

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'First of all I'm sorry. Secondly I'd like to clarify what I meant by 'never apologize, never explain'.'

"All those who want the doughnuts with jam in the middle please raise your hand."

Team Leader

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

'Any questions regarding our financial incentive program?'

Pat on the back machine

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'