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Now Available....Zoom Etiquette

Naked from the waist down.

Top Tips For Video Interviews

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Office Meeting

We Made a Fortune! 'That's good enough for me. I don't really need the specifics...'

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

Dog Park Zoom

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'First of all I'm sorry. Secondly I'd like to clarify what I meant by 'never apologize, never explain'.'

"All those who want the doughnuts with jam in the middle please raise your hand."

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'