Mobility Mocker Gifts

Running in please pass

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Mismanagement Consultant.

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Mountain escalator.

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Arrogant OAP.

Memo to all departments: NO!

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'Motivational poster,'

Members only.

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

Freak Show

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Jesus' bones.

Northerners see a fashionable stranger and suggest throwing a brick at him