Mobile Melody Maker T-Shirts

'My ringtone is a real attention getter. It sounds like a squeaky toy.'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Guitarist

Marimba

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Piano Recital

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"I made you a mixtape."

Cycling with a harp case

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Artist and Musician

Musical notes bubble gum.

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Music downloads

Guitar Man.

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

Six jazz instruments.

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"Check out this new store."

A woman playing a keyboard

French horn.

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Blues artis's daily list

Sir Edward Elgar

"The boogie woogie bugle cat of Company B"

Romantic Duet

'We're having an argument. Do you know any battle marches?'