Mobile Awareness Advocate Pillows

Texting kills

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Zika global alert

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Bubbling

Elderly lady being pulled up an out-of-order stair lift by her pet dog.

Sewer Rats

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Olympic flame sending postcard - 'Wish I wasn't here.'

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol, triglycerides, and ego are all too high.'

"Yes, I do treat patients with memory loss, but I insist that they pay in advance."

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'Reinventing myself.'

"Light at the end of the tunnel!|

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

'Why missionary-themed!restaurants 'usually fail.'

'Just look on the positive side Mr. President - you've single-handedly united the world!!'

Opium Den 2019

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

Transmitting Swine Flu.

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

"For Hispanic Heritage Month, we have a special project! With these chips and cheese, we're gonna make nachos!"