Misunderstood Monster Defender T-Shirts

"I've got him pinned down in the living room. He's not the monster they made him out to be."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

No Soliciting

A Change of Scene.

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

Fish with Shield

Thank you Doctor

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

"True, I'm from pest control...but we don't eliminate internet trolls."

Only very few of the lumbering giants relied on speed...

My first pro bono case.

"This is what the city pays us for, DiAngelo!"

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

"Monster under your bed? You're old enough to know there are no such things as monsters."

'Shut-up, stupid dog!'

Worm hiding behind hook.

'It's alright my previous, it was just a bad dream, there is no super bindweed monster...'

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

'And if he does get through the invisible fence, our drone will zap him from 40,000 feet.'

'Baxter wouldn't hurt a fly. Unfortunately fleas are another matter.'

'I'll kill that dog of yours.'

"Look, I've got nothing against globalization, just as long as it's not in my backyard."

Phishing for cyber information

'And after they figure out human rights, they'll start on ours.'

The owner is motivated.