Misunderstood Maverick Gifts

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Grandma's caf

Guitar Man.

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Targets.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

Gene Therapy

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Popera!

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

'I say we try it.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

Hacksaw Violin.

Santa Metal Claus

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'