Misunderstood Hero Pillows

"You monster!"

"Oh man! I forgot my key!"

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Keyworker

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'I'm sorry. It appears Mr. Mitchell won't be accepting any more information today.'

Palm Reader...

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Do you know Issac Newton discovered gravity in 1867? Before that people could fly."

"How was your day, dear?"

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

'Professor Hallkitt! Over here! I found some more Cave paintings!'

"Era un gato grande... Que hacia ro ro..."

'Why Mr. Root, I had no idea you were not happy with your work here at crisis services!'

Three Pointless Things to Do This Week: Break into a sweat/Search for the Hero Inside Yourself/Toy with the Idea of Leaving Your Husband or Wife.

'Bill got sacked, sleeps on a park bend and eats dog food. He's the most motivational speaker we've ever had.'

"Gifts like this ought to keep me humble."

'I can't remember for the life of me why I came upstairs.'

Forty years in the City and never once was I headhunted.

'I don't think my Eric would fancy toilet paper that's been used before.'

"Daddy why are your hands so soft?" "That's because I'm effeminate son."

"I dragged a man out of a burning building. Un"fortunately, it was a fireman...

"She told me she was bi, but forgot to mention the polar part."

Short sighted man talking to mannequin. - "Can you help me find my wife?"

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.