Mistake Maven T-Shirts

RIP - Refused to learn from my mistakes

Lady to other: 'Not the screen, silly - you put the white-out on the CD!'

"Of course I'm no expert, but wasn't that supposed to go the other way? I mean, did you even look at the directions?"

Jack of all trades

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Drool Marks

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"A virus ate my homework."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

'I'm studying how other geniuses handled creative blocks.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"That's not what I said."

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Workplace 17 Days Without An Accident

"Mr. Nwachuku?", "Extra dressing on the side?"

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

"Secondhard carbs"

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

Novox Genlab - 'Stop!' scientist chases after four legged chicken.

"Dear Miss Philpott, aren't you excited to be part of a ground breaking experiment in desktop publishing?"

"At least take your hat off indoors!"

"From now on we will name you Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta!"

'What a silly misunderstanding - you meant I should be home by ten-thirty P.M.?'

"Did you wipe your feet?"