Mistake Fixer T-Shirts

'If we happen to experience deja vu, let's make sure we do some things differently.'

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Waiting for Pants

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

"No, it's twist and THEN turn."

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"Study Henderson's career closely. He's made all the mistakes so you don't have to."

"Kick the machine"

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

"John, the bees go on the outside."

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

"I had to improvise"

'Alright! Alright! So I made a mistake!'

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

'Look, Doctor. I just want him cured. I'm not interested in what's wrong with him, so skip the lab work."

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

'What a trip I had - I accidentally got on a drone.'

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

Drag Racing Today. Well, so much for the getaway power.