Misplaced Messer Prints

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

Face painting.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Where's my glove?'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

Untidy bedroom

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

'Who messed up my workbench?!'

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'

"Can I help it if my pen leaks!"

"I don't think so, Ted!"

"One day, many years from now, we'll look back at this and laugh."

'I need something to spill.'