Mismatch Escapist Pillows

'No - the ad should have read keen rambler.'

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Stress is often associated with feelings of 'isolation'...It's really important that you see yourself as valued, as useful!"

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"Not again!"

Board meeting "And finally, gentlemen, Miss Silverman with the lunch-time scores."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

"I've half a mind to protest."

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

Message in a bottle.

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

A giveaway tan line...

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.